Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I CAN MOONWALK!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
