i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Your cock deserves a montage
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
