I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
