fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
