I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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