i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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