Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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