i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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