someone get that fucking seahorse.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
