We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize