I think my fart just growled at me.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
