it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
