TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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