When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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