My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
