i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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