Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
