garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you will always have a special place in my vag
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
