i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
