You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
