Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
