something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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