Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
