i think i have herpe
just one?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
false alarm, still single
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
