walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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