dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
