All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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