Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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