We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
