we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
