you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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