I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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