how can u be prego again
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
