i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
