I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
