as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
