would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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