I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
