Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
