I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
my liver is dry heaving
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
