absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
