I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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