oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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