North Korea, Best Korea!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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