my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize