Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
