I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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