so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
