i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
well you can't waste a boner
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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