i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
