There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
third nipple confirmed
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
