there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
