I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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