he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
