It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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