You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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