At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
