so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
