Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
