btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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