did you get engaged???
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
