remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
