I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
zippers are such a cool invention
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
