You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize